But It's a Dry Heat

Immortals

Posted on March 12, 2012 by P. Kirby

“Where’s the beefcake?”

Me, after watching Immortals, a film that is advertised as being “from the producers of 300.” Except 300, for all its flaws, featured some of the best that modern nutrition, gyms, and some steroids could make of the male physique. The plot of 300 could be summed up as “a few very good men fight to the death against the Persians, and day-yum, are they sexy martyrs.”

Theseus, Immortals’s hero, is terribly overdressed. Also, for the most part, Immortals is short on action and gore, which is especially problematic as it’s also fresh out of plot and characterization.

The movie begins by introducing the movie’s McGuffins: the Titans and the Epirus bow. The Titans are contained in a box that is Continue reading →

Posted in Action flicks, Movies | Comments Off

Guest Blogger – Erin Pryor

Posted on March 9, 2012 by P. Kirby

Good morning, all! Today, in place of the usual snarking on movies and odd doodles from my sketchpad, I’m pleased to welcome Erin Pryor, author of Pillars in Time, a time travel romance. Erin has stopped by for an interview and book giveaway.

Let’s start with some warm-up questions.

-What’s in your refrigerator right now?
Milk is #1. I have kids so I gotta give them protein. Some Italian sausages, Lunchable’s, cheese, and diet soda.

-It’s up to you to come up with a new national holiday. A real holiday, the kind that means I get the day off. What would it be?
National Women’s Day. Where all women can take the day to do whatever they want without the distraction of work or children. Just a day for us.

-Stick shift or automatic transmission?
Automatic. I’ve never learned how to drive a stick

-Name two things on your bucket list (life list). Continue reading →

Posted in Free book, Guest Blogger | 2 Comments

Drive

Posted on March 5, 2012 by P. Kirby

After watching Drive, a couple of things came to mind:

First, I hope Ryan Gosling wasn’t paid by the word, and second, the only way to make Los Angeles look like anything other than an overpopulated, ugly-ass, shithole is to film it at night.

I also realized that for once, my inability to remember a character’s name isn’t my fault because in this case, the protagonist had none. Ryan Gosling is The Driver in a bloody tale about a sometimes stunt driver/mechanic/getaway driver whose well-ordered life falls apart when he falls in love.

The movie begins with Driver precisely uttering instructions to Continue reading →

Posted in Action flicks, Movies, Worth Watching | Comments Off

And the Dental Plan Sucks Too

Posted on March 2, 2012 by P. Kirby

Still busy writing; muse is kicking my ass.

Today’s sketchbook dump is one of several silly variations of “Most dangerous jobs in Middle Earth” that’s been kicking around my head. The most dangerous, of course, being Frodo’s gardener. The plan was to spit this one out in an hour–because wargs and orcs, how hard can they be to draw? Ended up taking at least a couple of hours, plus time in Photoshop to try and hide the fact that it was drawn on the back of an old manuscript. (You could see where the some of the text got scanned too.)

As always, click image for larger (readable) version.

Posted in Humor, My art | Comments Off

Black Swan

Posted on February 26, 2012 by P. Kirby

I don’t think I’ve ever entirely forgiven Natalie Portman for the Star Wars debacle.

Of course, I know the real blame lies with George Lucas and his pathological inability to direct anything with a pulse. I also know Portman isn’t waiting, with bated breath, for my forgiveness. Nevertheless, she and Hayden Christiansen are the reason why I have to keep my hand on the remote, ready to hit fast-forward, when watching any of the Star Wars prequels.

Bias aside, she was amusing in Thor, and I really liked her in V for Vendetta.

Her performance in Black Swan, however, is a lot more Padme (Star Wars) than Evey (V for Vendetta).

In Black Swan, Portman plays the role of Nina, a dancer with Continue reading →

Posted in Movies, Rant | Comments Off

Scars

Posted on February 24, 2012 by P. Kirby

I still can’t draw people.

Not very well, anyway. I’m starting to think it’s some kind of weird psychological hang-up, because I don’t have the same problem with animals. Human proportions, for some reason, don’t make sense to my artist’s brain. My people always end up with odd anatomy or looking stiff and lifeless.

My current Work in Progress features a scarred, half blind hero and Six:A.M.’s “Skin” is his theme song. One of several angsty-pangsty songs, anyway. He’s wonderfully emo and fun to write. Since I can’t draw people, I opted for another one of my original characters. This is Cheddar the pitbull, from an another unfinished project. Cheddar belongs to one of Regan O’Connell’s (The Music of Chaos) neighbors and she sometimes dogsits him. He is so named because he once ate a pound of cheddar, including the plastic packaging.

Click on image for a larger version.

Posted in Dogs, My art | Comments Off

Real Steel

Posted on February 22, 2012 by P. Kirby

Technically, Real Steel isn’t my kind of movie. I mean, sure, it has fighting robots, and battles between giant mechanized men are totally my thing. Violence. Futuristic technology. Yay!

Except, Real Steel relies on the “cute kid” plot device and a story that’s designed to tug at one’s heartstrings. Teeny problemo: I don’t have heartstrings. Movies that others find heartbreaking and compelling, strike me as sappy and painfully obvious. As for kids…they’re like adults. Some children are absolutely charming; others are assholes; most just exist. I really dislike big-eyed urchins who I’m supposed to love because they are big-eyed urchins.

That said, I really liked Real Steel.

Real Steel is the story of a down-on-his-luck Continue reading →

Posted in Action flicks, Movies, Worth Watching | Comments Off

Unholy Ghosts

Posted on February 21, 2012 by P. Kirby

In which I actually like an urban fantasy novel….

I first heard about Unholy Ghosts over on Dear Author, where a mild kerfuffle (very mild, by Internet standards) went down in the comments over the protagonist’s drug use. I remember it being a matter of the Hugs Not Drugs crowd showing up and getting their pearls in a twist. Looking at the thread now, the bulk of the “controversy” seems to be over author’s comments on her book, her “warnings” not to read it if drug use is a trigger for the reader. Oh, boy, my Swiss cheese memory. At any rate, it caught my attention despite my growing (and ironic? hypocritical?) aversion to urban fantasy (UF).

As I’ve said before, I’m just not feeling the love for the cookie-cutter, ass-kicking, swaggering, loner heroine who typifies a lot of UF titles. I find I can’t relate to them at all.

Consequently, I’ve left a long trail of “Did Not Finish” urban fantasy novels in my wake lately. One exception being Lauren Beukes’s Zoo City and now, Unholy Ghosts. Naturally, as a reader and a writer, my question is Continue reading →

Posted in Book reviews, Urban Fantasy | Comments Off

Bet Your eBook Can’t Do This!

Posted on February 17, 2012 by P. Kirby

Click image for full-sized version

I’m utterly obsessed with my current WIP. Writing anything else when these damn pushy characters keep demanding time is about impossible. They did let me take a break and do some sketching….

I was thinking about my earlier post regarding my new Kindle and how much I like reading on it. (I do. In fact, I think I would have bailed on the book I’m currently reading–‘nother Twilight clone–if it were in print.) It’s just easier to ~~skim~~ slog through a really bad book on my Kindle.

But then I started thinking about the many uses of print books. Several immediately came to mind, but given my limited drawing skills, I went with four. It’s getting easier to draw people, but it still took at least 30-minutes to draw the ‘toons with people, vs. two-minutes to draw the greyhound.

Middle panel features Regan O’Connell smacking Breas Montrose (The Music of Chaos). I assure you, he deserved it.

Click the image for a full-sized view!

Posted in epublishing, Greyhounds, Humor, My art, The Music of Chaos, Writing | Comments Off

Familiarity Breeds Nitpicking

Posted on February 14, 2012 by P. Kirby

If they're good enough for the Energizer Bunny...

Some movies just don’t hold up well to repeated viewing.

Last week my husband and I re-watched Iron Man 2 and Star Trek (2009). We’ve seen both at least three times already, and of the two, Star Trek holds up much better. (My only beef with Trek is depiction of Kirk’s birth, specifically the fact that technology has given us warp drives, and yet human childbirth is still a hideous, painful process.)

I had heard some negative buzz about Iron Man 2 before I watched the movie, so my expectations were low. Afterward, I thought, “Well, that wasn’t so bad.” Why didn’t I notice its flaws? Blame Robert Downey Jr.

I’m still amazed that the studio chose him for the role rather than some vapid pretty boy (e.g. Ryan Reynolds in Green Lantern). In retrospect, Downey is the perfect actor for a movie with the premise “billionaire genius playboy stumbles upon a conscience and decides to wage peace, not war.” Imagine if the role had been played by Continue reading →

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