I admit I’m a curmudgeon. I’ve never been a fan of inspirational films, or at least, films that so self-consciously flog the zero-to-hero trope. Also, for reasons which now escape me, back in the day, I really didn’t like Ralph Macchio. So I’ve never seen the original Karate Kid.
But, with any interesting action-y flicks tagged with “long wait” status, our Netflix queue is currently trolling the dregs. Karate Kid 2010 is the latest dweller of the depths to emerge and appear in our mailbox.
The movie begins with Dre (Jayden Smith) staring at a long line of marks on a doorframe, each noting his height and the occasion. E.g., birthdays, and notably, his height on the day his dad died. Which, while being a clever way to tell the audience that Pops is toast, is also a bit twisted. Daddy-o dies and the first thing this kid does is run to the doorway and note his height?
Dre’s mother (Taraji P. Henson), calls to him, and together they pick up their suitcases and leave the apartment forever, destination China. The shot ends with a view of the scribbled-on doorframe. And I’m thinking, “Dude, they’re so not getting their damage deposit back.”
On the plane Dre’s mother tries to engage her son in conversation, and quite reasonably, teach him Chinese. He shrugs and ignores her. He isn’t quite sulking. What he does isn’t interesting enough to be sulking. When they arrive in China, at their new apartment, Mom immediately announces that she’s going to take a shower and sends Dre out to find the apartment’s handyman. Sends her son. Who doesn’t speak Chinese. Out into a strange city.
Dre eventually finds Han (Jackie Chan) the handyman–aka the eventual “Mr Miyagi” –who ignores him. Dre then wanders over to a park, makes one friend, hits on a girl, and then gets his ass kicked by a boy named Cheng who objects to…I don’t exactly know what the kid objects to.
So begins the rivalry that will lead to Dre learning Karate. Only it isn’t Karate, it’s Kung Fu. But why quibble over accuracy, when the potential to exploit 80s nostalgia is on the line?
This strikes me as another case where movie makers go to such lengths to give a movie broad appeal, assure that it do nothing that might alienate any audience member, that the result is like watching paint dry. Karate Kid 2010 has a few moments, later in the film, where Dre and Han’s relationship moves beyond the flat “Inscrutable mentor aggravates impatient pre-teen” and into something deeper. In fact, the relationship between Han and Dre is the high point of the movie. My husband, BTW, who did see the original, felt that this relationship made the remake the better movie.
The rivalry between Dre and Cheng is weak, not much more than the usual schoolyard dustup. The vampire flick Let the Right One In did a far better job of portraying bullying and the resulting social isolation and desperation. There’s really nothing at stake for Dre besides a shiny trophy. His burgeoning romance with the girl, Meiying, is cute, but never really threatened. The script conveniently ignores Dre and Meiying’s racial differences, and the challenges presented by the cultural setting.
For a movie that clocks in at about 140 minutes, you’d think the plot would have more muscle and less fluff. It reminds me of this posting from Slush Pile Hell.
I hope you enjoy my manuscript. In the beginning it is going to be hard for you to read as it’s fairly slow, but stay with it because the end will encourage you.
Karate Kid 2010 ponderously builds steam and toward the end, morphs into a mildly entertaining movie.
