Author Archives: P. Kirby

Who Is That Masked Horse?

Posted on August 5, 2011 by P. Kirby

“STOP DIGGING!” What my neighbors hear every morning from May to October. Summer and Fall are the seasons of flies.  This year, thanks (sort of) to a short and very unusual span of below zero temperatures, the fly hordes didn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Horses, Humor | 1 Comment

Truth in Advertising

Posted on August 4, 2011 by P. Kirby

You know you’ve been at a job too long when the simple act of getting up, going outside and getting the mail becomes a kind of deliverance from the excruciating pain of ennui poisoning.*  I slog across the asphalt parking … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Comments Off on Truth in Advertising

Will There Be Laundry Involved?

Posted on August 3, 2011 by P. Kirby

In a lovely change from the adverts for manroot fertilizer, I get this in my inbox. (It somehow sneaked past my spam filters.) Doris wants a “true relationship and partner.” Dear Doris, As a rule i make a Point not … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Internet, Spam I Am | 2 Comments

Win a Free Copy of The Music of Chaos!

Posted on July 22, 2011 by P. Kirby

Win a free copy of my quirky urban fantasy, The Music of Chaos.  In addition to a free book, the winner of the contest will also get free “arts” by me (Small Kokopelli or angel wall art). It’s easy. Just … Continue reading →

Posted in Contests, Dark Elves, Decadent Publishing, Free book, New Mexico, The Music of Chaos, Vampires | Comments Off on Win a Free Copy of The Music of Chaos!

Season of the Witch

Posted on July 11, 2011 by P. Kirby

Two armies face each other under the desert sun. It’s Christians vs. Muslims in the world series of genocide, aka, the Crusades. Our heroes, Behmen (Nicolas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman) trade witty repartee via dialogue stolen from The Lord … Continue reading →

Posted in Action flicks, Movies | Comments Off on Season of the Witch

There’s No Mystery; I Just Don’t Care

Posted on July 8, 2011 by P. Kirby

Alternate Title: “Why This Excerpt Sucks.” PROLOGUE  “They’re coming,” said Mary.  “They should be here tonight.” “Tonight?” said Bob.  “That soon?  Can anything be done to stop them?” “No. Nothing.”  Mary stared out the window, clutching her shawl around her … Continue reading →

Posted in Critiques, Lessons Learned, Writing | Comments Off on There’s No Mystery; I Just Don’t Care

Race Cars, Not Dogs

Posted on July 7, 2011 by P. Kirby

In which I ensure that I never sell any books to anyone in the greyhound racing industry.* (*No, I’m not calling it a “sport.”) Like I give three shits. You would think, given the proliferation of casinos and other forms … Continue reading →

Posted in Dogs, End Greyhound Racing, Greyhounds, Rant, Retired greyhounds | 33 Comments

A Troll on an Elevator Is Still a Troll

Posted on July 7, 2011 by P. Kirby

Once upon a time, on a little Celtic island, far, far away, a lovely princess was cornered in an elevator by a drooling troll. The troll propositioned her for sex, and the princess turned him down and fled the elevator … Continue reading →

Posted in Feminism, Writing | Comments Off on A Troll on an Elevator Is Still a Troll

Buy My Book, So I Can Afford Pest Control

Posted on July 3, 2011 by P. Kirby

A study in lunacy, Kirby-style. Saturday morning and I’m staring at dirty dishes from breakfast and inventing excuses for not washing them– “It’s against my religion; dish soap causes cancer; dishes come cleaner if food is allowed to set.” I … Continue reading →

Posted in Desert life, Humor, Retired greyhounds, The Music of Chaos | Comments Off on Buy My Book, So I Can Afford Pest Control

Why I Don’t Auto Follow on Twitter

Posted on June 24, 2011 by P. Kirby

Alternate title, “Stop Selling Me Stuff!” I confess, a big part of Twitter’s allure is following, not being followed.  See “being followed” implies a kind of “leading,” and as any employer that I’ve ever worked for will attest, I’m no … Continue reading →

Posted in Dark Elves, My art, The Music of Chaos, Twitter | 2 Comments